Description

Tongue Fu!® I – Module 1:  How to RESPOND Instead of REACT

Video 1: What Is Tongue Fu!®?

“I have found if you love life, life will love you back.” – Arthur Rubenstein

• Who is causing you stress?  Who is being unfair, unkind, inappropriate?
• How is this affecting you? Can’t sleep? Taking out frustration on others?
• Good news. You’re about to learn pragmatic ways to deal with challenging people.

Video 2: Assess Your Conflict Resolution Style

“Life may give you a cactus; you don’t have to sit on it.” – Joyce Meyer

We all have a habitual way of handling conflict. What’s yours?

• AVOID
• ACCOMMODATE
• ANGER
• ADDRESS and ASSERT

Has your habitual conflict style helped or hurt up until now?

Video 3:  Fast-Forward Through Frustration

“The more a man knows, the more he forgives.” – Confucius

• Transform Impatience into Empathy with these Four Words
• Who is Someone You’re Exasperated With?
• Does Seeing It From Their Point of View Change Your Perspective?
• Instead of Being Unhappy with What you Don’t Like, Could You Create What you Would Like?

Video 4:  Listen Up and Set the Empathy Example

“One person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us, can change our whole outlook on the world.” – Elton Mayo

• Who is Someone Who Really Listens To You? How Do you Feel About Them?
• Next Time Someone’s Upset, Give ‘Em L.L.L.
• Why NEVER to Say “I understand how you feel”
• What will you do next time you want someone to feel heard, seen and understood?

Tongue Fu!® I – Module 2:  Words/Reactions to Lose and Words/Responses to Use

Video 5:  Stop Arguing, Start Acknowledging

“Is sloppy communication due to ignorance or apathy?  I don’t know and I don’t care.” – William Safire

• The Quickest Way to Advance Conversations vs. Anchor Them in Disagreement
• What are Common Situations at Work Where You BUT Heads with People?
• The Three Letter Word that CREATES Conflicts

Video 6:  Coach (vs. Criticize) Mistakes 

“Boy, did he make a wrong mistake.” – Yogi Berra

• Do You SHOULD on People? How to Shape Behavior instead of Shame It
• Focus on NEXT Time so People LEARN  instead of LOSE FACE
• Next Time Something Goes Wrong, How Will You Focus on how They can Do it RIGHT?

Video 7:  Turn Orders into Requests

“Common courtesy … isn’t.” – Tongue Fu’ism

• Do you unintentionally boss people around?
• How could you turn commands into courteous requests?
• Words that turn resistance and resentment into rapport and receptivity?

Video 8:  Focus on What You CAN Do Instead of What You CAN’T

“Anyone who doesn’t think there are two sides to an argument is probably IN one.” – Tongue Fu’ism

• Do you use words that slam a verbal door in people’s face?
• Can you turn a “No we can’t, because” into a “sure we can, as soon as?”
• Do people perceive YOU as the one blocking what they want?
• How can you use this techniques at home as well as at work?

Tongue Fu!® I – Module 3:  Give and Get Respect

Video 9:  Give Bad News Without Getting Blamed

“Sticks and stones can break my bones; but words can break my heart.” – Robert Fulghum

• Are you using words that cause people to conclude you don’t care?
• Can you turn “There’s nothing I can do” into “Here’s something I can do?”
• Can you show compassion so people are less likely to kill the messenger?

Video 10:  Become Problem Free

“We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don’t have time to make them all ourselves.” – Groucho Marx

• Are you dealing with a “problem” employee or customer?
• Are you giving people the impression there’s something WRONG even when there’s not?
• Can you set a tone of graciousness by choosing to say this?

Video 11:  Avoid Going to Extremes

“Of course I’m yelling. That’s because I’m wrong.” – Leslie Charles

• Are you making sweeping generalizations that people object to?
• Could you use OBJECTIVE vs. SUBJECTIVE language?
• How to ask for what you DO want vs. complaining about what you DON’T want

Video 12:  How NOT to Take Difficult People Home with You

“No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• Who  is someone who “makes” you mad?
• How will you take charge of your emotions and keep your cool – even when other people aren’t?
• How will you, as Meryl Streep says, “Guard your good mood”?
   

Bonus Video:  Summary and Plan of Action

“If you’ve made a decision and haven’t taken an action, you haven’t made a decision.” – Tony Robbins

• Where will you post your Words/Responses to Use so they stay in-sight, in-mind?
• How will you persevere through the 4 A’s of Learning and adopt more constructive ways of communicating?
• What will you say to yourself next time someone’s getting on your last nerve?